"He who conceals his hatred has lying lips,
and whoever spreads slander is a fool."
Proverbs 10:18
This is an interesting proverb. It seems like a catch-22... if you conceal your hatred, you're a liar. But, on the other hand, if you go around talking about how much you hate someone, you are a fool. What should you do?
Well, obviously, you should not hate people (Matthew 5:21-23). It's a heart issue, and we need to have hearts of love. Where do you get a heart of love? How can you love difficult people who drive you crazy? Only by the grace of Jesus and the power of His Holy Spirit who lives in God's children (1 John 2:3-6).
This proverb presents an impossible situation. If we search for the answer, we find that we need a miracle, we need Jesus, the Maker of new hearts.
Most often people get caught up in “hating” the person, but in fact, it is the action the person who injured you that makes you angry. I try very hard, and sometimes I don’t always succeed, to look at each injury a person has inflicted on me as just that, an event. It is the event or action I dislike not necessarily the person.
ReplyDeleteCould it be possible to talk about the event/action that has injured us to others in order better understand the reasons why the person acts in such a manner? I believe in my heart that all people have goodness inside them. I think that it is our choices and actions that anger and hurt people. God created us with the utmost love. God does not “hate” us even though we fall short and sin. As long as we seek out His love and have faith we will be with Him for eternity.
Hello Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteIn the sense that we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26), there is some goodness in each of us. But until we are redeemed by a relationship with Jesus, this goodness is mostly buried in selfishness. Even beautiful good deeds that some people do apart from Jesus are mostly motivated by their discovery that doing good for others results in feel-good feelings for themselves. Not to rain on your parade, but personally, I feel that it's dangerous to focus on the idea that people are intrinsically good, because that idea is not intrinsically true. (Check out Romans 5:12-19)
If I have not made you too angry (honestly, I don't want to make you mad!), I'll go on to address your real question: separating the sin from the sinner. The thing is, you don't want to continually expose yourself to a person who continually hurts you, so regardless of whether you hate the person or his action, you want to avoid the total package. At least, I do.
I have a post about hate and victims and perpetrators at http://ruthmem.blogspot.com/2009/02/choosing-to-love.html
Certainly God does not hate us even though we fall short! That is what grace is all about! If He hated us for falling short, none of us would have a chance, but in grace He sent Jesus to die for our sins, in our place, to take the punishment we deserve. Hebrew 9:22 says that without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins. But Jesus shed His blood to save us from having to shed ours... Because He does not hate us, He loves us! And it is only through Him that we can be pure before God.